I don't feel that close to God right now. As I know he hasn't gone anywhere, this would show I'm drifting away from him, right? It could be because I was out of town last week and out of my morning Bible reading routine. It could be because we had a flight delay yesterday, so I had to work later at the airport and missed church. It could be because I'm supposed to be a camp counselor for the 4th year in a row this week, but my kids are at their grandparents' cabin instead, and I'm disappointed.
But I'm also wondering if it's because I'm not brokenhearted.
The Bible says God is close to the brokenhearted. I know this to be true. I once prayed like David, "God, you are my all," and then when I questioned whether that was true or not, I also prayed like David, "Test me." That's when I pretty much lost everything else in my life. God was my all because he was all I had. We were really close then. I didn't always make godly decisions, but I was at church every chance I got, and when I veered off track, I was so completely humbled by how God continued to love me anyway.
But I'm kinda on track at the moment. Or I feel like I am. (This could change any second.)
So I've just been questioning, "How does one stay close to God when they are not brokenhearted?"
I can rejoice. I can give God all the glory for everything good in my life. God wants us to celebrate these moments. He wants us to "feast."
I can share my joy. I seriously had so much joy on my trip to Florida that I was tipping Uber driver's generously and saying cheesy things to strangers like, "Maybe I'll see you again when you're flying the friendly skies!" And then I couldn't stop laughing at myself even though I was all by myself.
I can refuse to think I've got life figured out. I don't. Nobody does. That's why we need God. That's why I need to continue to seek him. Because this is when it would be easy to veer away from God's direction and do my own thing.
I can also be there for those who are brokenhearted. When God was my all, I felt like I had nothing to offer others. I was barely surviving. I felt like a taker, and I hated it. Now I have energy to give to the friends I know who are experiencing broken hearts. So I will lift them up in prayer. I will check on them. I will encourage them.
And when they overcome, I will rejoice with them.
I want to be closer to God. Maybe we don't always have to feel close, we just have to believe he's close. And if we believe, our actions will be based on this belief.